Thursday, August 18, 2005

About Radionica (Before the journey)

Excerpts from the initial proposal, and the background on the reasons behind Radionica.

'I came to the UK in 1992, from the former Yugoslavia, at the start of the civil war. I travelled for 5 days, from Bosnia, through Serbia, Hungary, Croatia and finally reached the UK. This journey at the age of 17 was cataclysmic in every sense of the word. I was leaving behind the familiar, the culture I grew up in, the safety of home. The shifting meaning of the words safety and home never left me, as in those days I was physically safer in London, but felt quite vulnerable and insecure with my new life and surroundings.'

'To jump now to 2005: I have created a new base and a new home here in London. I used to visit the other home, in the Balkans, every two years. It was always too painful, and too intense going more often then that. I felt as though fragile pieces of myself that were sewn together would unravel too fast, if I was to come too close to the Balkans again. When I went home in April this year, I decided to allow the unravelling to start happening. It wasn’t a conscious decision; on the contrary, this decision was made for me the moment I stepped out of the plane and felt a sense of ease come upon me. On some level I decided to allow my country, my people, my family back in…'

'Women and girls, of all ages are coming to her flat, to discuss materials, patterns, what would they look best in given their body shape, whether they have lost weight, or gained weight, any new gossip…Some stories are funny, some trivial, but many stories told are serious, sad, and reflect a life outside this fashion-conscious and somewhat out of place flat. Men’s presence can be felt in this place, even though they are never physically there, and many stories usually revolve around their unfaithfulness.'

'My mother deals with all this traffic through her flat with remarkable patience (and I don’t always remember her as a very patient person!) A complete lack of private space seems to have no effect on my mother, or my sister. People come and go through the flat, and women are taking their clothes off, trying the new clothes on, my mother is fiddling around with needles in her mouth…and in the middle of this all, there is an odd kind of intimacy, and comfortableness with female bodies safe in this all female environment.'

'I was particularly struck by young 17,18 year old girls, who are getting ready for their secondary school graduation ball. They spend a long time looking for the perfect outfit and their parents give a lot of money for the right material. Enormous pressure is put on this one evening of celebration, through this elaborate preparation. My mother would usually be given a picture of Jennifer Lopez or other Hollywood star, or some of the home grown stars (some are from the popular turbo-folk music scene) and my mother would then create a pattern for the dress.'

'I was struck by the contrast between the poverty and certain lack of purpose in today’s Bosnia, and the glamour that pervades clothes worn on the streets.
I couldn’t stop thinking about these young women, who will wear the most glamorous dresses, that are at the same time being worn by Hollywood stars and who will stand in the centre of a small town, in Bosnia, in front of a shopping centre (everybody gathers there to watch), and then what…?'

'This is a very personal journey…it is a physical journey to another country, visiting a particular place. It is also an inner journey, deep travel into my own self, as a woman, as a daughter, as an artist. I feel deeply connected with each woman who walks through my mother’s flat. Their stories are personal stories, and they are as much about patterns and materials, as they are about their lives.'

'My expectations are about discovering the unknown within the familiar, places but also spaces in relationships with family members, and with other women who are my mothers customers, and also long term family friends and neighbours. I hope to be able to translate my experiences there, through the language of vulnerability, and share that which will have left a lasting imprint on who I am and my work as an artist.'

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